Jokes 3

This Folder is intended to prove that we all can laugh at ourselves no matter how big our egos get!
Administrator
Site Admin
Posts: 11631
Joined: Tue Jul 26, 2005 4:15 am

Jokes 3

Postby Administrator » Thu Mar 30, 2006 7:05 pm

Jokes about the Legal Profession
These are for comical purposes only.

Submitted by: Anonymous
You are a cheat! shouted the attorney to his opponent. And you're a liar! bellowed the opposition. Banging his gavel sharply, His Honor interrupted: All right, now that both attorneys have been identified, let's get on with this case.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Submitted by: Anonymous
A lawyer is settling accounts with his client. Let's do it this way, he says, pay me $5000 now and then $400 a month. Gee, the client says, I feel like I'm paying for a car. The Lawyer replies, You are! And a nice car it is too.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Submitted by: Anonymous
Harry Bender: Imagine the appeals, dissents and remandments, if lawyers had written 'The Ten Commandments'

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Submitted by: Anonymous
Subpoena: From the root sub, below, and the Latin poena for male organ or penis. Therefore, below the penis or by the balls.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Submitted by: Anonymous
Lawyer: a cat who settles disputes between mice.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Submitted by: Anonymous
Upon seeing an elderly lady for the drafting of her will, the attorney charged her $100. She gave him a $100 bill, not noticing that it was stuck to another $100 bill. On seeing the two bills stuck together, the ethical question came to the attorney's mind, Do I tell my partner?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Submitted by: Anonymous
About 1900, a very respectable Western lawyer was filing some insurance papers when he came to the question: If your father is dead, state the cause. Unwilling to reveal that his father had been hanged for cattle rustling, the lawyer evaded the problem by answering this way: He died while taking part in a public ceremony when the platform gave way.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Submitted by: Anonymous
I broke a mirror in my house. I'm supposed to get seven years of bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Submitted by: Anonymous
If law school is so hard to get through, how come there are so many lawyers? - Calvin Trillin

Return to “Lawyer Jokes”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest